My life has somewhat boiled down to this -- is it a jeans and jogging shoes day or a sweats and slippers day. That is kind of the thing with cholangiocarcinoma. It has a few bad things about it. First, it is hard to detect so often it is advanced when it is first noticed. That is the case with me.
The second problem is that it has side effects that have nothing to do with chemo. First, there are many nerves in the liver and abdomen and the tumors push against my nerves. My pain is getting much better, thankfully. I have not had any breakthrough pain for several days. Maybe the chemo is working a little bit or maybe my surgery is just healing. Either way, I feel better pain wise than I did since first hearing the word cholangeocarcinoma. Cutting way back on pain medication has also allowed me to talk a little quicker and accomplish much more.
The second side effect is nausea that comes from the liver. There is not really any medication for this which is unfortunate. That is what really leads to the sweats/jeans decision. Since my second chemo medicine left my body, I have only had one nausea day. My mom was the unfortunate victim. She came over to help with Christmas shopping and Lucas and just to hang out. About as she walked in the door, I hit the sink. I told her it was nothing personal. We hung out together for the morning watching Ellen and Tony, which appear to be the exact same show -- one with a gay host and one straight. Ellen does give better gifts and have better guests, apparently. I enjoyed my mom's company. I mostly paced the room while we visited.
The rest of the day slowly improved. I guess that is the key. Be happy for every good day and have as many as possible and not get too low on the bad days. I was hoping that the nausea would go away with the pain to maybe suggest that the chemo was working. I do feel good this morning so maybe the nausea is less. We will see what happens in the morning. I am anxious to go to church so that Chase can become a Deacon. I think I will feel good tomorrow.
As many of you know, I am halfway through my first cycle of chemo -- two weeks of treatment, a week off and then two more weeks of a slightly different treatment. The change is small but may help with the side effects. Once I finish the next two weeks, we will test again to see if it has made a difference. If it has, you will all know and we will all be happy because it is working. If it does not work, we will push hard to get the insurance company to approve some new drugs that are showing promise in treatments for closely related cancers -- one is called Avastin. This drug raises the percentages that my other treatment will be more successful. It will take some effort but the new drugs will help. Anyone who knows any way to help me get Regence Blue Cross/Blue Shield to approve Avastin in Utah for my treatment please let me know. We are going to need to lobby hard. I also have a friend and neighbor in my ward who works for the company that makes this and another great drug. He has offered to help which is great. If these drugs have worked for some -- should not they work for a person in good health who just ran a marathon?
What else am I doing? First, I am starting back with exercise. I love to do this and it has been part of my life for a long time. Research shows that it will help with the nausea, the chemo side effects and the efficacy of the treatments. Christmas time and a new baby make this a little bit of a hard time to get back rolling on exercise, but then cancer comes when it wants it seems. When Lucas feels good and sleeps well, Marianne will too. Being at home helps me to understand that they have good days and bad days like me. We need to make sure they have many more good days then bad. It is happenning.
I also need to eat healthy. This will not be as easy. I have not been a health food guy, but then again cancer is a good incentive to change life style a little. My family is helping me with this. We are going to buy a juicer today and I will have to replace a good sandwich with some green beverage that slinks down. There is reaserch to uncover but nothing new to invent. Many people have had cancer before me and have tested what needs to be done. My family will find what I need to do from the knowledge available and I will follow it. Of course, there is the old problem that cholangiocarcinomo is not as well known as other cancers so the information and reasearch is harder to locate.
I have confidence in Kelley, Stacie, Amy and my mom that they will get it done for us. Every step of the way they have performed perfectly. They do whatever it takes which makes Marianne and I anxious to do our part. We will. My dad has also been a strength along with Marianne's family.
Yesterday was a good day. I woke up feeling really good, put my jeans on and cleaned the house a little with Marianne. This is good exercise for me and keeps my mind moving. (I did miss Ellen.) Lucas was a little ill but he hung in there. Anne Kitchen came by to see Marianne and I for a minute and helped with Lucas. She is married to a friend I made when I was four. We wandered off and got lost. Our parents found us with the police later that night. Our parents met for the first time and became friends. Our families moved to Pleasant Grove, Utah together because of that day. Anne drove me down to Brad's office and we had a good visit. He is going to help me get back in the gym.
We rescheduled my family birthday party for last night. When I was young, we used to have hot oil fundue as a family. At my request, we tried to recreate the old days. It was great. My family was all able to come together with Marianne's brother Bruce and wife Lisa. Everybody pulled off their assignment with precision. The house does wreak of hot oil, however. At the end of the night, Geret had written a rap song and my sisters and brothers-in-law performed in front of the camera. Internet access coming soon. Let's just say that if I do lose my hair, which is not clear at this point (I have a few more days to find out), I now have several hats (think Kramer in the Seinfeld "Pimp" episode) and wigs (Trump, Napolean Dynamite).
I guess it is mostly time to enjoy Christmas and dig in for the long fight. We are ready. Our family is in a good place. The children are working hard to do their part without effort from us. All three have stepped up in school and at home. It makes me feel good. That is what families are supposed to do. Cancer has helped encourage them but they were already great children and already so close to where we wanted them to be. I guess the simple lesson is that sometimes it has too happen to us pesonally before we really examine our lives. Some tell me that this Website and what has happenned to us has helped them evaluate there lives. That's a good thing. It is now our time to work hard to get a second chance at life so that we can get the value of a good lesson. Life really is as simple as God and others have told us for so long. What will it take for each of us to truly decide how we will live. I know you have heard it all before and now maybe I am just preaching.
As I have mentioned many times before. The little favors matter so much. The beautiful, warm quilt that appeared in the mail one day, the many great meals from friends and neighbors, the neighbor who came by one morning with air filters for our home, the friends that have brought littles things we needed from the store, those who watch and care for our children, the constant caring and attention from our families and the many posts and thoughts on this site. It amazes me how everyone knows how to act and what to do in these situations.
Maybe this will bore some of you, but my life has happily become more boring as we focus on this immense task of beating cancer. I asked Marianne yesterday if I say or do more or fewer stupid things post cancer. She didn't really answer. I think it might be more. Last night I was driving the car home and realized that I did not even now what the speed limit was on several of the roads around Draper. I probably need to issue a general apology to the driving public of the County. We will keep you posted.