Saturday, January 20, 2007

Mark Raymond Clements

I'm sure many of you have already heard or read from the guestbook, but I need to say it myself. We said goodbye to the most wonderful husband, father, son, brother, friend and man last night.

I literally have three drafts on here where I tried to let you all know what was happening over the last three weeks, but I just couldn't say it. I couldn't put into words the feelings that were in this home. There were very difficult days, but there were very beautiful moments where the spirit felt like it filled every inch of our home. It was not easy to watch the man I adore become weaker and to suffer. Not just suffering from pain, but from the restlessness of not wanting to leave before he met his goal.

I don't remember exactly when he said it, but I'm sure it was around Christmas last year that Mark felt that a miracle goal with this type of cancer would be to make it to Tessa's baptism. I will tell you that the hospice doctors and nurses said a couple of weeks ago that Mark showed signs of someone who could be gone in as little as a day, but he was still up walking and talking and being very headstrong (independently Mark.) He was determined to make it to her baptism. He couldn't physically make it to the church for the baptism. Our oldest son, Patrick, beautifully stepped in and performed the baptism. The family then came home and through another miracle of a priesthood blessing, Mark was able to participate in Tessa's confirmation. My father took Mark's hand to place it on Tessa's head and as soon as Mark's hand touched her head his whole body relaxed. He sat there in complete peace as the prayer was said. The spirit in the room was almost overwhelming. There is no way I can even explain it, but it was the most amazing night.

So true to his word, Mark made it to the baptism and then peacefully left this earth the next day. I know I am not alone in feeling complete anguish at this time. I know it will lessen over time. I know I will not understand "why" until I'm with him again, but what I do know is that Mark loved me. He loved his children. He loved his family and friends. He will be waiting for me with our loving Father in Heaven. And we will be together again. Our Father in Heaven is aware of our pain and will comfort us still as he has through this past year.