Monday, January 07, 2008

Monday (1-7-2008)

I couldn't think of anything clever to title today's entry. Today I had one of those days where you get a lot taken care of, but you wouldn't know it by what you see. I was on the phone a lot today. I have a refund due me from a stupid company. I had some issues with my online banking. I needed to pay bills. I set up some of my bills with equal pay. I have all this mail that I don't know if I need or I don't. I was trying to buy tickets to the Harlem Globetrotters for Chase and I. So I did all of that today, and my house is still a wreck. So as I sit here looking around at my house, the only tangible thing I can see is that I didn't get my house picked up. I know for myself that I did tons of important stuff today, so why is it so hard to feel like a success. I keep having this reoccurring theme don't I.

My niece shared this with me the other day.
"I came over to your house to babysit while you were working on a float for July 24 Parade. It was right around the time Jaustin had been born and you guys lived in the avenues I think. So as I was making lunch for Patrick and Chase I noticed a little tablet on the counter that in your hand writing was a list of all the stuff you had to do. There was everything from laundry to craft projects. Below all of that was something that you had written to yourself about how you feel bad that you can't get everything done etc. Below that in Mark's handwriting was "Don't worry honey I love you." So I was like 17 and just thought, "He is the best husband. That's how I want my husband to be."

I was so glad that she shared that with me. That was so Mark. He balanced out my craziness. He got a kick out of my insanity with perfection. I just looked up on this piece of yellow legal pad where I took notes from a session with my counselor. In large letters outline with a box I wrote, "I DON'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT." I think I'm going to need to make it in super large vinyl letters and stick it to the walls of every room in my house, or it will never sink in.

Okay...so this is what I did well and right today. I got up (hey, sometimes that's a huge feat all by itself.) I had major snuggle time with Lucas after his nap. I don't think he's feeling very good. I got the bills paid. I did take care of odds and ends on the phone. The kids and I had a fun night for Family Night. We went grocery shopping (it's been a few days with no milk.) I ordered tickets for my date with Chase. I arranged a day to scrapbook with Kelley. I started the organizing process with my scrapbook stuff. We said family prayer. I turned in a paper Tessa needed at school. I got all of the appointments on my calendar. I WROTE IN MY JOURNAL.

My Saturday Night Live "Daily Affirmation" - I don't have to be perfect! Hey that's what I could have titled this. Oh well, I'll use it some other time. I'm sure this issue won't be gone anytime soon.

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